Loss PART 1: "I'll believe in you all my life."

A brief history…

I was born in Puerto Rico. A few years after that cataclysmic event, my family and I moved to Greece. After a couple of years under the watchful eyes of Olympus, we went to the U.S. for a while. It was at this time (I must have been about seven) my parents got divorced. My mother and I flew back to Puerto Rico and the rest, as they say, is history. Granted, it’s a history you know nothing about but a history nonetheless.

Winged Nosferatu

Naranjito. We had moved back to the land of my ancestors. Deep valleys covered in trees, humble rivers cutting through the green, the sounds of nature lulling you to sleep and the biggest blood sucking mosquitoes I had ever seen. They were vampires… winged nosferatu. There were other bugs too. Relics of the Jurassic age or some escaped mutation from a secret lab somewhere in the mountains of the Cordillera Central. There were snakes as well… small snakes but to an eight-year old… anacondas. I was not a country boy.

Naranjito

I went to school in the middle of the actual town of Naranjito. The town was basically a giant roundabout. The minute you drove in… you were out. Small. The discomfort was accentuated by the fact that my Spanish was still raw. Having spent my first years of school abroad, I had learned English in greater detail. This made things difficult. I wasn’t able to make many friends either. There were two things that gave me a modicum of comfort. One, there was a tiny movie theater in town and it was within walking distance from the school. And two, Yoda. A Yoda hand puppet to be exact. I had carried that thing around since before we had returned to the island. It was my favorite toy in the world. He was perfect. He never complained even though I threw him in the middle of the road, tugged on his crusty yarn hair and poked holes in his gigantic rubber ears.

I took that puppet everywhere. In times of great fear (and as an eight year old kid there were plenty) he kept me company. I remember dark nights and massive storms. He was there. Being right smack in the middle of the country, there weren’t many children around and those that I did meet I barely understood. I never felt alone, though. Between Yoda and my imagination, I had no reason to be. I spoke, he listened… he always listened.

One day my mother and I had gone to the city. I’m sure it must have been to visit my grandmother but the real surprise was when she decided to take me to the movies. The BIG theaters! I sat down, Yoda in hand, and I watched. Hey! It was a little brown-haired boy… like me! He didn’t have many friends… like me! He met an alien that would prove to be his greatest friend in the world. I had a little alien friend too! I felt genuinely happy that day. Needless to say, it was my favorite movie ever! (Shut up… I was eight.) In fact I had seen the movie eight times before they finally removed it from circulation. It was my first experience identifying with a film.

Of those eight times, about five were in that tiny little theater in Naranjito. Since it was so deep into the island, they usually received the movies long after the city theaters had finished with them. Bliss! Mind you… it was one of those unassuming movie houses with the dimly lit lobby and the sticky floors. The chairs often smelled like damp clothes and the candy was an assortment of chocolate covered crap with stale popcorn. I loved it! Sometimes, right after school, I would rush to the tiny locale, buy myself a ticket and catch the adventures of Elliot over and over again… Yoda in the seat beside me. Always beside me. My mother worked near the school so it all worked out.

Once E.T. had run its course in Naranjito, I still frequented the theater every chance I got. It was my sanctuary. On a particularly warm evening I asked my mother if she could take me to the movies. She had something to do but agreed to let me go… alone. Cool! I was going to watch a movie at night… by myself. Well… almost by myself. I got dressed, grabbed Yoda and went off to the show! I can’t remember what I had seen that night. All I remember was walking out of the theater and meeting up with my mom. As we walked toward the car I realized with a sudden leap of horror… Yoda! I left Yoda in the chair! I ran back as fast as my skinny little legs would take me. They were just locking up but the usher let me in. I searched every chair, every corner… he was gone. The lights were shutting off all around me. He was gone! How? I wasn’t even out that long! What was happening?

My chest was hurting. I didn’t understand. My heart broke for the first time. I had lost my friend. My best friend. My only friend. I cried that night. I cried harder than I had ever cried before. Oh God… I was all alone.

TO BE CONTINUED…